|
Challenges, often a pendulum that swing me out far from where I want to go. Anytime anger makes its presence known, or jealousy, or fear, or pain, or insecurity, or tendencies to isolate and withdraw; a temporary safety in their protection, but clear they’re not for keeping. The pain at the perimeter is purposeful though. A nudge to listen for who’s asking for attention. My inner child, or a younger version of myself. Their experiences not yet resolved, not yet attended to. Their needs covered by aging versions of myself. But their layers, like rings of a tree, are the foundation. The child that tried to be perfect and pleasing to help manage other’s emotions; the girl who wanted to fit in in a small southern town despite being a first-generation American; the young woman that made herself and her dreams small even though she wanted to take up space. The labyrinth’s perimeter, although far from center, offered an all-encompassing vantage point. Calming my doubts of the path, of my sel(f)ves, I continued walking with trust I'd connect with the center at the right time. With the woman, the person, the essence that is the mother to her child self, and her own unconditional source of love and worth. Upon arriving I relished it’s comforting cocoon. Held, within. Later turning to leave, I realized there was no direct exit. The path I just traversed, I must walk again. Anew. The way out, is in.
|
