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An excerpt from Bethany Webster, in her book Discovering the Inner Mother, piercing right through me. Not a stab but a beam of light to the parts within kept in the dark. How willing am I to love myself even when I produce nothing? I heard the term recently of the western ‘religion of productivity’. I’d argue this applies around the globe, but definitely seen clearly in our western culture. How much we base our value - daily - on what we’ve accomplished. I’ve noticed how many times my husband and I answer “how was your day?” with notes of what we got done. What about the days it seems impossible to accomplish, to produce? Are we not deserving of love, of inner kindness then? Might we be most in need of self love in these moments? I heard a recommendation last week to write a letter to yourself and list all the things you love about yourself. I decided to try it, but instead via a chat with myself while taking a walk. As I started, I began listing aloud my positive qualities. By the third one, things felt off. I realized I was implicitly saying to myself ‘I love myself because I demonstrate these valuable qualities’. What about when I don’t? So I shifted course, and went the opposite route. I started reciting my negative qualities and following each one with an ‘I love you.’ Soon the chat took the form of I love you when you’re angry. I love you when you’re sad. I love when you’re uncomfortable. I love when you’re awkward. I love when you push too hard. I love when you can’t let go. I love when you’re overwhelmed. I love when you’re lazy. I love when you make mistakes. I love when you make them again. I love you even when. Especially when.
I soon became wrapped in a bubble of what felt like self acceptance. Of recognizing myself at my worst, and knowing it was still enough. That all those ‘negative’ moments are the ones where I’m most learning, most growing, most expanding. That I don’t have to do anything to be worthy of love. That I'm made of love. I am love. I will return to love. Even when. Especially when. I love you.
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